Most people cry, but women tend to cry more often than men. If you find pity on a woman who is crying, there are steps you can take to make her feel better. Comforting a crying person can strengthen your character.
Do’s & Don’ts –
1.Assess the situation
There can be an infinite number of reasons why a woman might be crying. Perhaps she is grieving, stressed out, ill, or overwhelmed by joy.
Before proceeding further, try to get a handle on what the situation might be and whether it is appropriate for you to try to comfort her. Some reasons why you might not be the right person to comfort her would be:
- If you are affected by the same situation that is upsetting her. If you are shaken up, disturbed, or hurt by the situation that made her cry, you might not be in a good position to help her.
- If this is the case, you might want to seek out a support network who can help both you and her cope with whatever is going on.
- If she is crying because of the fight you both had before, before stepping in to comfort her, you might have to calm down yourselves to start the proceeding.
2.Decide to comfort her
You should make an effort to help the crying woman, unless there is a good reason for you not to comfort her, . Ignoring someone who is crying can be quite worse.
Comforting someone will let them to recover more quickly from their tears and will also make your relationship stronger.
3.Be a good listener
This is little difficult. Tears are an important form of communication, and you should pay attention to her on what she is trying to say. Use active listening techniques, such as verbally affirming to find what the crying person is saying and avoiding interrupting them.
- Be especially careful not to turn the conversation back to yourself- this is about her.
- Don’t make it about you. Even if she’s not behaving in the way you would, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t deserve comfort, or she deserves to be sad.
- Avoid phrases such as, “If I were in your shoes,” “I have tried . . .,” or “When that happened to me, I didn’t make such a big deal out of it.”
4.Don’t tell her not to cry
Tears can often be a good action, even if they were caused by something painful. Crying can bring physical as well as emotional relief to someone who is stressed or sad.
Bottling up emotions can prevent the healing from taking place. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, let her cry as much as she needs to. She will likely feel better for doing so.
- In general, avoid any commands, negative language, or imperatives.
- Stay away from phrases such as, “Don’t cry,” “You shouldn’t be sad.”
- People who are crying because of a mental illness such as severe depression might actually feel worse after crying.
- If you think she might be crying because of a mental illness, you should still give comfort and support.
5.Affirm her sadness
Show her that you understand her pain by acknowledging that her pain is legitimate and that you sympathize with her pain. Use phrases like:
- “That really sucks.. I’m really sorry that happened!”
- “I understand that this must be very painful.”
- “I’m sorry it’s totally my mistake.”
- “No wonder you are upset. This sounds like a very complicated situation.”
- “I’m so sorry that this happened to you.”
6.Assess whether physical contact is appropriate
Some people are comforted by physical touch, some are more anxious by it. You can offer a hug if you know that she responds well to hugging. Hugs can even help relieve stress over time.
Other kinds of appropriate touch might be holding her hand, touching her shoulder, stroking her hair, or kissing her forehead.
Use your best judgement based on what you know about her preferences and the limitations of your relationship, and always follow her lead. Be sure to back off if she asks you to.
- You can also observe her body language to determine whether she might be open to comforting touch. Defensive body language such as clenched fists, crossed arms and legs.
7.Try to solve her problem
While trying to solve her problem, shouldn’t be your first instinct, it is possible that there are some tangible, specific things you can do to help relieve her pain.
If it is possible for you to remove her troubles, and if she seems to want you to, then you can offer to step in in some way.
- For example, if she is crying because she had a fight with her friend, you might discuss ways for her to repair that relationship.
8.Check in on her
In the next few days, after the crying incident, check in occasionally on her to make sure that she’s doing well.
Don’t be too invasive about it, but asking her out for coffee, or calling her out a bit more often could be very helpful.
It is possible that she will recover quickly, but she might also need some extra time to get over her sadness. Showing your support over that time will help her a lot.
9.Take care of yourself
Empathy is important, but it might also lead you to be upset or depressed. Remember to take care of yourself too, and reach out to others if you need help too!